When I don’t know why.

When I don’t understand.

When I feel all wrong.

When I feel broken.

When I feel lost.

When everything around me is out of place, out of sync.

When everything inside me is bulking against a situation.

When all I want to do is run, because that feels right.

When what feels right is confusingly wrong.

How hard is it. 

To lay. it. down.

This life, all I am, all I have, all I think.

Its not that I’m getting it all wrong.  Its not that I need to get it right.

Its just He wants me, to be all me, and that means Him being in me.

Christianity doesn’t mean you’ve surrendered your life, it’s a way of life.

And having a faith doesn’t mean your living by faith.  

Surrendering is not good for Him, He doesn’t need me to surrender, He already has me in the palm of His hand.  

I need to surrender for me, because I cant continue to hold all that’s within my heart, mind and soul without imploding.

Because then, it’s like getting to the very top of the hill and rounding the top, and realising, that’s why I made the journey.


Its taking your ear phones out, hearing the stillness, then hearing the clarity of His voice.

Its walking through the red sea with danger all around and continuing to walk in trust.

Its what you need to do to have great worship time, or great sex and its what you learn to do as a mum.

It’s a laying down of something, and we all have a different something to lay down, more often than not it goes against what is comfortable.

Because He lay down everything, so we could look up, at Him, when we lay everything down, at the cross.

Because being all in is sometimes putting it all down.


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